Dillon's Joke of the Week
Dillon called this morning for his Joke of the Week. Before we got to the joke, he said that he was having a medical issue. He says his friend was smacking himself in the head with a board. The board was falling apart and a piece flew off and hit Dillon in the foot, causing it to bleed.

I told Dillon that maybe he doesn't have the smartest friends. He agreed, saying his friend is "more brawn than brains".

Dillon's Joke - What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters? The Post Office.

Festival on the Green
Diane Watson brought several people with her Wednesday to talk about Festival on the Green. It's Thursday through Saturday, June 14-16.

Dave is the "director" which apparently means he gets to tell everyone what to do. He said this year the entertainment is huge with the stage filled just about all the time. In addition, there will be more rides this year.

Janet overcame her sweaty palms to talk about the food. Along with the regular festival-type food, the Festival will feature wings on Thursday night, chicken on Friday night, and slow-cooked ribs on Saturday night. Janet's responsible for cooking the ribs, over 300 lbs of them, since it was her idea to have them this year. Maybe she'll learn to keep her ideas to herself.

Janet also told us about her personal chef business. She'll actually come to your house and cook your family a meal. Oh, and she'll clean up afterwards. Now that's a good deal.

Chris was here as well and said they are bringing back funnel cakes for the second year. This is her baby. She says they'll have a bunch of new toppings so just ask for Chris when your craving a fresh snack.

Click here to all the Festival on the Green info.

The Human iPod
Born three months premature and weighing just one and a half pounds, 28-year-old Derek Paravicini grew up blind and severely autistic. However his uncanny ability on the piano has earned him the affectionate nickname "The Human iPod."

Basically Derek can play anything he hears instantly on the piano. He began playing at two and started performing at the age of four.

His mentor, Adam Ockleford, said, "Derek and I first met when he was about four and a half. He just broke away from his parents and pushed a little girl off the piano and played Don't Cry For Me Argentina." He added, "He likes to make people happy and he knows he can do that through his music."

If you want to see this amazing man's web site: www.derekparavicini.net.

Weather Kid
Coleman was expected to be back as the Weather Kid today, but his grandfather, Roger Ruth, called in to say that football practice had taken him away. We lucked out though because one of our guests, Chris, brought her kids with her, so third grade student Nathan stepped up.

Nathan says he likes his sister ok, but sometimes they have to fight things out. He proved me right after I said his sister, a kindergartner, could kick his butt when he said he had to play Nick Jr. on the computer instead of what he wanted to play.

If you want to hear more from Nathan, or any Weather Kid, click here.

What Drives Him Mad
Relationship expert Laura Snyder lists the things you -- yes, you ladies -- do that he finds appalling.

• You Gossip -- He doesn't get the perverse pleasure you find in criticizing a complete stranger's weight, clothes and hair.
• You Can Be Too Needy -- Part of the reason he tunes you out so frequently is because he's tired of your unabating need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid the relationship is, and how trustworthy he is.
• You Test Him -- From the classic "What are you thinking?" to the dangerous "Is she prettier than I am?," he feels like you're always testing him with trick questions to determine if you're really soulmates.
• You Did Let Yourself Go -- Oh, you claim you haven't, and you can even point out that you still have all that sexy lingerie (which you never wear), but you're not nearly the dolled-up sex kitten you were when you two started dating. Yes, you can be cute all curled up in our old sweats without make-up, but he doesn't really want to see you with that facial bleach stuff on. Ever.
• You Use Sex As a Weapon -- He thinks it's so evil the way you can withhold nookie when you're annoyed with him. It's even worse when you do it in conjunction with that whole "I'm not mad" thing when he knows you are (he just doesn't know why).

Here are more men turn-offs from Cosmopolitan:

• Smoking, 31%
• Bad breath, 21%
• Unshaved legs, 15%
• Too much makeup, 8%
• Granny panties, 6%
• Being drunk, 3%

Coming Up
On Thursday Jennetta Martin will be in to talk about a special dinner for a special man, Charlie Evers.